We estimate less than 1% of the general population knows what to ask before considering investing in a company. Mitch Tuchman paraphrased Warren Buffett for MarketWatch: “Put your money in index funds and move on… Seriously, you’ll do better. That’s what I plan to do with my money once I am gone.” In short, buy index funds.

When it comes to the family fortune, silence is not golden. History has repeated this lesson for centuries as nine out of 10 affluent families have consistently seen their financial legacy destroyed, and family unity right along with it, within three generations. The culprit is rarely bad investment advice, a risk-prone portfolio or economic turbulence.

Roy Williams and Vic Priesser collected data from 3,250 families who had lost their wealth. Less than 3% reported that poor planning and investments were to blame for their reversal of fortune.

Wealth management usually comes in two parts: financial planning to increase and manage your wealth, and estate planning to protect and pass the wealth along to heirs with as few taxes as possible. Unfortunately, 70% of family wealth is destroyed by the second generation, and family unity is destroyed right along with the wealth. After three generations, the loss of wealth exceeds 90%.

A common philanthropic mission can unite a family and create meaningful change in the world. But how does a family, consisting of many generations, personalities and individuals with different values remain passionate about the cause? Take Donald Trump and his children. Among them are: a presidential hopeful, a hunter, a modern Orthodox Jew and an aspiring pop star. Yet, the Trumps are living proof that it’s possible for individuals within a family to be quite different, yet, for a philanthropic legacy to flourish.

Is the financial advisor self-employed? Does s/he work for a firm? Are there financial obligations and quotas to be met on the firm’s behalf?

Why don’t all financial advisors work in their clients’ interest, in a coordinated manner, 100% of the time?  The short answer is—because they can.  And as a culture we have gotten used to this.  Investors who have experienced financial wrong doing at the hands of a service provider who want to right a wrong may, unfortunately, be embarking on a lengthy, expensive—and sometimes futile—process.

A fortune is said to rise and fall. However, its eventual ruin may come along faster than expected, particularly if its demise happens within the lifetime of the person whose hard work, ingenuity, and perseverance created that wealth.

Surprisingly, the majority of the families who destroy their fortunes haven’t done so through poor investment strategies, flagging economies or turbulent financial markets.

The oft-repeated phrase, “silence is golden” is anything but when the subject is one’s inheritance. Parents who don’t disclose the extent of their fortune may hope to preserve their children’s motivation and not inhibit their professional, creative, or scholastic development. While this is well-intentioned, “protecting” children from potentially shocking information could cause them to feel deceived by their parents, isolated from friends, and like a fish out of water in their own lives. That is not the goal. And being unprepared to steward their birth right is a recipe for wealth destruction.

Imagine an unmoving car. Its tyres are encased in heavy mud on the side of a dirt road. Every turn of the wheel feels futile as the tyres spin, going nowhere. Frustrated, yet resigned to the situation, you manoeuvre the wheel, hit the gas lightly, turn the wheel in the other direction, and try again. Finally, you free the front wheels. No amount of backseat driving, no matter how well-intentioned, will move this car. It is only when the driver discovers the sweet spot—the combination of turning the wheel ever so slightly in one direction and hitting the gas pedal just so— that moves the car out of the mud.

The oft-repeated phrase, “silence is golden,” is anything but true when the subject is one’s inheritance. Parents who don’t disclose the extent of their fortune may hope to preserve their children’s motivation and not inhibit their professional, creative, or scholastic development.

While this is well-intentioned, “protecting” children from potentially shocking information could cause them to feel deceived by their parents and isolated from friends.

Imagine an unmoving car.  Its tires are encased in heavy mud on the side of a dirt road.  Every turn of the wheel feels futile as the tires spin, going nowhere.  Frustrated, yet resigned to the situation, you maneuver the wheel, hit the gas lightly, turn the wheel in the other direction, and try again.  Finally you free the front wheels.  No amount of backseat driving, no matter how well-intentioned, will move this car.